that will learn me!

The moment the Council moved from weekly to fortnightly bin collections I just knew it would cause problems…

…When I missed the Friday collection date three weeks ago my heart sank. My black bin was full to overflowing and amongst other things contained a chicken carcass and the remains of an Indian take-away. This bin, over the next fortnight, I thought to myself, is going to start smelling!

I know some of you are already thinking…”OMG – why is he telling me this!?” Well the answer is @metajugglamum told me I should. Her bad, not mine!

Six days before the next collection something “caught my eye” while going to put something in the shed. I turned and looked. There, it happened again…maggots were literally falling out of my black bin. Like paratroopers, they were just launching themselves off and out and onto the ground below. I decided to peek inside.

Opening the lid was enough. Without exaggeration at least 100 maggots fell from the lid all over my boots and the floor. The site inside the bin was one of MASS infestation. “Crawling” is a good word!

It’s at that precise moment my mind turned towards fledgling blue-tits and Kate Humble. “Genius idea Bob”, I thought…”lets leave the lid of the bin open. That way mummy and daddy birds will spot the “feast”, I will let nature take its course and end up with a maggot-free bin and hundreds of fledgling birds will be fattened up ready for their first flight.

It was with a sense of pride that I walked into the house and back to my computer. Ecological superstar Bob 🙂

It wasn’t until the next morning that I returned to the bin. OK, there were a few straggler maggots left…but the “many thousands” had gone.

I was anticipating next year’s Springwatch mentioning the record numbers of birds having successfully fledged in the South Hams last year…perhaps they might even mention my “initiative” as an example to others?

However, at this point in the story, I have to admit to one of my “bad-habits”. It’s about laundry. Don’t worry, this is not going to turn into a sponsored post 😉

Let’s be candid. I am very good at putting washing into the machine and pressing start. I am 75 % efficient at hanging washed clothes up outside. It’s the 25% that lingers around the washing basket that does not get hung up or tumble-dryed that I have to confess to.

This one-quarter of my laundry has the ability to sit in the wash basket. That is until such time as I get off my fat arse prioritse housework. More often than not, I end up re-washing it as the once moist smell of freshly laundered clothes has turned into something all a bit more musty 😦

(I do not know why this happens. I have been consistently leaving a “remnant” to fester in this way for 7 years now. I like to think of it as a “single dad” thing).

It was later the next day when I turned to the washing machine with a new load. As usual, the washing basket was 1/4 full of clothes that I just knew would need washing again. It was then that I noticed a movement…

…If I were to tell you that my small pile of wet laundry had (I guess because I didn’t stop to count) about 2,000 maggots sleeping in the dampness, you may get the same shivers that I got.

Clearly, rather than face starling induced genocide, they had undertaken what can only be described as a maggot version of the retreat from Mons into my laundry pile!

I am sure there are lessons to be learned…! 







About onlydads

Single Dad living near Totnes in Devon. I founded in 2007 and live with my daughters Priya, 14 and Anya 11. I write about single parenting, work, overcoming trials and tribulations and sometimes not overcoming trials and tribulations.
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14 Responses to that will learn me!

  1. Didn’t Lady Gaga wear a meat dress recently? Imagine leaving *that* one in the laundry basket :\

    Good to see you doing your bit for wildlife, Bob 🙂

  2. That story has got my flesh crawling. Really bloody horrible. Have you got the bins sorted yet? I’ve been waiting a fortnight to get our recycling boxes emptied of paper and glass. If the the binmen don’t show up soon, it’s all going into landfill.
    p.s. Which washing powder DO you use 🙂

  3. fleetwoodboy says:

    Hahaha what are you like. Longer washing line needed so you can peg all the washing out at once, and don’t invite flies to sleep in your bin cos they tend to do naughtirs !!!

  4. CoffeeCurls says:

    EW. That is all. Just EW! xx

  5. Karen Jones says:

    Makes mental note not to hug Bob the next time she sees him …….

    • onlydads says:

      well when I had got them all shaken off I felt like I needed a good shower…

      …and was searching everywhere for some medicinal Vosene Shampoo 😉


  6. Sara says:

    Ooh yuck the need for a bigger washing line and new clothes x

  7. Oh. Ma. God. Ewwwwwwwwww!!! Hope you’ve erm got rid of em now!

    PS I’m a girl so I always always always go with new clothes! 😉

    • onlydads says:

      …I think they have all gone now!

      I didn’t tell the girls…they would have had me down to Next and H&M in a trice!


  8. HAAaaaaa HAHAHAHAhahahahaha!

    That was it. My comment.


  9. Quentaris says:

    you do realize that a few probably made it into the washing machine don’t you?

    *posted purely to make Bob freak out about the clothes he currently has on*


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